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Smoked Out Battles Battle Rap Sun, 03 Mar 2019 04:10:11 +0000 en-US hourly 1 Badlands 3 Wed, 20 Feb 2019 23:52:18 +0000 Image may contain: text and food

Click here for the Pay-Per-View link!

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5 YEAR COMING UP Wed, 16 Jan 2019 07:01:29 +0000 The 5 Year is coming up and it’s going to be fire!

If you can’t make it out, cop the PPV for just $9.99 USD. (It had to be in USD, it was either that or Euros.)

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If you weren’t in the building – or if you didn’t cop that PPV – we don’t think you’re total trash, we just think you’re probably poor. And that’s alright.

Well it’s not alright, poverty sucks, and we hope that you get the things you need to lift you out of it.


While you’re eating your generic macaroni and cheese mixed with water instead of milk and butter, check out this title match on the wifi you’re undoubtedly pirating from your neighbour.

This could be the day everything turns around for you. It could be this moment. This battle.

Here’s to new beginnings.

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[January 4, 2018] The Draft – Koleslaw vs Kristel Fri, 05 Jan 2018 01:31:27 +0000 Notice how three days ago it was cold as fuck but now it’s sunny and thirty degrees warmer?
That’s because this heater was uploading through the internet tubes and getting ready to melt your face off like so much West Coast snow.

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[December 23, 2017] The Draft – Jisho vs. Mongerz Sun, 24 Dec 2017 00:48:04 +0000 Jisho may be the rookie of the year and is the self-identified Grow House Champ. In this battle, he calls Mother Theresa a ratchet. Cool.

Mongerz been at it for a minute but in his past few battles he’s been bringing nothing but heaters. He’s moving towards the title on some “slow and steady wins the race” steeze.

Like and share this video – and be sure to leave a YouTube comment talking about your favourite daytime TV house.

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December 14 – [Go F**k Yourself] – Nekkbone vs Bannock Kardinal Fri, 15 Dec 2017 03:56:46 +0000 Sonik shoots amazing, high quality video. Billy Shakes did a hack job butchery editing this.

Shout outs to every audio issue ever. Either way don’t let the wonky format make you miss the absolute heat rocks in this. Edmonton (Treaty Six!) stand up.

Share this on your facebook and tag one of your aunts or uncles in it. Tell them it reminded you of them and offer no explanation.

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[December 2, 2017] 23 – Stevie P vs DMon tha Bop Sat, 02 Dec 2017 21:24:13 +0000 If you want to know what a Canadian accent sounds like, listen to Stevie P say “Shout Out to Smoked Out” in the intro. Canadian af.

Also, dude’s name is pronounced DEE-MOAN not DEMONN apparently. Who know?

Like/comment/comment on international relations between Canada and the USA


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[November 22, 2017] 23 – Heretic vs Whoompthereitis Thu, 23 Nov 2017 00:22:21 +0000 Move over maple syrup, Canada’s got a new top export that’s sweet and stick – Whoompthereitis.

Watch this super hot fire matchup between the head of For MCs by MCs and Smoked Out’s own dope-slangin’ flamingo.

Comment as if you are a Nigerian prince trying to find a North American backer to confuse the spammers.

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Edmonton Says “Go Fuck Yourself” Wed, 22 Nov 2017 19:58:03 +0000 Billy Shakes here. Go Fuck Yourself was a blast. I somehow have signed up to edit the footage so I’ll be able to do some battle breakdowns as they’re released, but in the meantime here’s some quick deetz on the event:


Battle of the Night: Nekkbone vs Bannock Kardinal

The 2 on 2 was a close contender for battle of the night but it went kinda flaccid in the 3rd.

Nekkbone has ridiculous charisma and crowd control. He’s fucking huge, he’s loud, and the crowd kept breaking into chants of “NEKKBONE… NEKKBONE… NEKKBONE”. Though Nekkbone hadn’t battled in for-fucking-ever, he looked totally comfortable against Bannock. Bannock, meanwhile, had a super tight performance in a 2 on 2 to kick the night off, and was on point again with Nekkbone. They both had jokes, punches and disrespect that complement their styles. You can tell these two had been thinking of how to approach each other for a long time.

Bodybag of the Night: Kid Franklin made a VERY impressive debut, with all the confidence a tall white dude from rural Alberta combined with some very clever punches and some nasty hurtful bars. He set out to finish Konee’s career and after a brutal match, Konee’s going to have to take a long hard look in the mirror and see if he has it in him to go through that ever again.


Disappointment of the Night: After Kid Savage canceled his battle with Ali B, Wize Guy offered to do a one-round battle as a fill in. Wize Guy then no-showed… meaning Ali B wrote four rounds that he didn’t get to fire off. He’s probably got Battle Balls right now.


Mystery of the Night: Wize Guy was last seen off his medication, on day 3 of no sleep, wearing Billy Shakes’ socks. Where he went between missing his battle and turning up at the hospital is anyone’s  guess.


Most Number of Assists: Jesse Jacobsen rolled up with a squad from Medicine Hat and was wrangled into co-hosting battles as well as picking judges. He woke up passed out rappers before their battles; he also escorted an obnoxious drunk out of the venue mid-battle. He defused a scuffle before it turned into a brawl – security found me to tell me specifically that he was a G.



Rappers y’all crushed it. Thanks for bringing your A-game.

Ali B, Bannock Kardinal, Cue the Knucklehead, Explicit E (IOU!), Filly, JF, Johnny Knoxx, Guillotine, Kamikaze, Kid Franklin, Konee, Mad Kardinal, Nekkbone and Wheelz

Thanks to Komrade from Brothers Grim and the Battleaxe Warriors (seriously).

Long Distance Artillery Support: Kurtis King, Vokab, Dolla $ign Gang, Stevie P


Hospitality: covered dabs, doobies, and airport pick-ups.

Out of Towners here for the Culture: Jesse Jacobsen, Sarah, Kelson, Thomas, Neal, (tall blond kid), J Fuller, Lindsay Fuller, JF and Filly.


A/V Heroes: Sonik Hip Hop, Raven’s Eye Photography, Royal Thieves, “Peewee” James for the livestream.


Logistics: Madi and Sarah, J Reds at the Forge, Damon & the Security Team


Smoked Out Battles Alberta will be back in Edmonton this spring. Holler atchya boy if you want on the card and join us on Facebook to get in on the shit-talking in real time.

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Livestream Sun, 19 Nov 2017 00:42:56 +0000 What up! You’re probably here looking for the Livestream of Go Fuck Yourself, happening in Edmonton tonight.
This is the right place to be tuned in – we’ll be going live at 8:45 PM right here.
Hit refresh on the page right around then to see the feed. The first battle will be at 9 PM so… roll one up, get some snacks, mix yourself a drink and get ready.


Meanwhile, can I suggest you check out the Vokab vs Swamptiger match, just below this one? It’s a good time.



There’s a text number you can text

and the message will pop up on the live feed

so tell people how you feel

or troll rappers

or whatever

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